Coping with empty nest syndrome
Many busy parents would give anything for a few quiet moments to collect their thoughts and recharge their batteries. Some find it in the sliver of time between the kids’ and parents’ bedtime. Others carve it out of their daily routine, finding solitude in their drive to work or even trips to the bathroom. When you’re knee-deep in diapers, homework and piano lessons, it’s hard to imagine a day when your children no longer need you but eventually you find yourself standing in the driveway, waving goodbye and wondering where the time went. And, if you’re like most parents, you might be experiencing ‘empty nest syndrome’.
Despite its clinical name, empty nest syndrome is not a medical diagnosis; it’s a phenomenon that affects parents whose adult children have moved out of the family home. Marked by feelings of depression, sadness and even grief, empty nest syndrome usually begins when the first child leaves home and peaks when the youngest is gone. All parents know this day will come and while there is joy in seeing your children achieve their independence, it can be quite a shock to the system to realize that after 18-plus years of intense caregiving, you are no longer “on duty”. Suddenly, you have the freedom you’ve always longed for, but you don’t know what to do with it.
The good news is, once the dust settles, most parents adapt quite nicely and embrace their newfound freedom. In the meantime, here are some tips for a smoother transition:
Set your own timeline – Do you want to turn your son’s bedroom into an office right away or preserve it perfectly for his return? You may need a few months of breathing time to adjust to your new reality or you might set sail on around-the-world cruise before September is over. It’s up to you to decide what’s right for you and your family.
Use your time to give back – When your kids are young, volunteering in their school provides a sense of community and belonging but those opportunities drop away as they get older. Now you can go beyond bake sales and carnivals and give back to a cause that’s meaningful to you. If you’re not sure where to start, visit a volunteer website like volunteermatch.org or the Hands On Network. Volunteer opportunities can also come from unlikely places. Foresters™, a life insurance provider, gives members opportunities to volunteer in their own communities and even provides grants so you can organize your own volunteer events¹.
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Rediscover your relationship – Good news – studies show that women who are empty nesters are more satisfied with their partners than those who have children at home². It might take a while to sift through the parenting layers and find the person you fell in love with but most couples grow to appreciate the chance to go on more dates, travel or take up a new hobby together.
Take advantage of technology – For previous generations, staying in touch when your kids went to college often meant a weekly scheduled call on a land-line. Thanks to programs like Skype, Facetime and Facebook, today’s parents have a range of more intimate and immediate ways to connect. If you’re not already familiar with these offerings, get your kids to set you up before they leave home.
Stay tuned – Your empty nest experience may not last too long. About 13 percent of parents of adult children report that at least one of their kids moved back into the nest in the last year³ so enjoy it while you can.
Source:www.foresters.com
